Doing The Impossible
by MasterDuelistMichael
Summary: You've seen my Danny Phantom AU, now it's time to reveal my Kim Possible AU for Milo Murphy's Law!
1. First Mission

**Welcome to the start of my Kim Possible AU! Of course, where better to lead off than with Melissa's first mission!**

* * *

June 2015 - Suburban Danville:

14 year old Melissa Chase and her 13 year old best friend Milo Murphy were on their smartphones...as per usual. Only this time, they had no idea that the plans they were making would change their lives forever.

"It's so killer we both got new computers!" Melissa said to Milo.

"Yours is new?" Milo asked. "Total wonk! I got stuck with my dad's refurbished relic!"

"Oooh...major bummer!" Melissa remarked. "Can you get online?"

"Yeah. I'm researching hairless pets."

"Cousin Nate's allergies, huh?"

"I can't bring Diogee around him because he's allergic to fur and you'd be surprised how many mammals have fur."

Melissa smiled at her friend's comments before declaring..."I'm making my own website!"

"What for?"

"Oh, you know...babysitting jobs, helping people out."

"How about a hairless cat?" Milo asked, still researching hairless pets.

"WAY TOO FREAKY!" the ginger said, flinching. "Now type in Melissa Chase . com"

Naturally, having inherited his computer from his dad...it was bound to be slow.

"'Melissa Chase - She Can Do Anything'," Milo read. "Sounds kinda braggy, 'Liss."

"It's like a commercial, Milo! It's supposed to be braggy!"

Little did the two teens know, something was unfolding in Adjacent County at the home of billionaire Richard Paisley. He had hired inventor and entrepreneur Thomas McHenry to help with a new security system.

* * *

"Mr. Paisley, I assure you this laser grid is the best money can buy. No thief can survive the laser web!" Mr. McHenry said.

"So my Flamin-Goat will be safe?" Mr. Paisley asked.

"Yes, Mr. Paisley. Your extensive and vaguely disturbing collection of plush is 100% secure."

"Because the Flamin-Goat is the rarest of the Cuddle-Buddies! Only 10 were made!" Mr. Paisley explained. "Oooh! How does it work? Do I push the red button?"

NO! Don't you ever see the movies? Red buttons are bad news!

"Uh, how do we turn it off?"

"We would need the remote for that..." Mr. McHenry answered. "Let me think...I GOT IT! The Chasers!"

"Who?"

"The Chasers - a super-secret commando squad! This is the kind of mission they train for!" Mr. McHenry explained, taking off one of his shoes and opening his laptop with his right foot before proceeding to type.

"Just need to access their website..."

Unfortunately, careless typing led Mr. McHenry...to a 14 year old girl.

* * *

Later that day, we see Melissa at the Danville High School gym. This was a special day for Melissa for today was her cheer tryouts. Unfortunately for her, to get on the team, she had to get past the self-proclaimed 'Queen Bee' of Danville High - 15 year old incoming freshman (she was held back a year) Candace Flynn. Flanking her were fellow freshmen Amanda Lopez and Eliza Fletcher.

"Tryouts...HATE 'EM!" Candace retorted. "Who's next?"

"Melissa Chase," Eliza read off.

Candace scoffed. "Miss Curly Hair? I gave her a routine no girl can do!"

Melissa took a deep breath, then stepped onto the floor as 'E Is For Everybody' by Cooler Kids played. After a routine that included a run up the bleachers, a series of spins and flips along with a double sideways bounce on a trampoline, she stuck the split landing - much to the delight of Amanda and Eliza and the chagrin of Candace.

"Fine. You make the team..." Candace said condescendingly.

"YES!" Melissa celebrated as Milo came rushing in.

"MELISSA! You got a hit on the site! A MAJOR HIT!" Milo called out.

"Arrgh! Babysitting Timmy Turner again?"

"No, DANGER MAJOR!"

"Danger?"

"Someone needs your help, like, right now!"

* * *

That night, Milo and Melissa found themselves at the home of of self-made billionaire Richard Paisley. Their ride...was the lead singer of Love Handel (and Milo's uncle), Daniel 'Danny' Reddick!

"Thanks, Danny, for driving us all the way to Adjacent County!" Melissa said to Danny.

"Don't mention it! Anything for my favorite nephew and his little girlfriend!" Danny remarked.

"Uncle Danny! We're not dating!" Milo retorted, quickly dispelling the rumors.

"Well, what's keepin' ya, Milo? I'm in a pool with Bobbi and Swampy as to when you and Melissa will finally hook up! And I probably shouldn't have said it out loud..."

"Nice goin', Uncle Danny. Thanks again, though!"

"No prob! I'll find some place to park it, call me when you guys finish up!"

"Please and thank you! Later, Danny!" Melissa answered as she and Milo exited Danny's car. "You sure this is the right place, Milo?"

"No doubt about it. Someone's trapped in there!" Milo confirmed.

"Don't you think this is the kind of thing the local police should handle?"

"Truth in advertising, Melissa! Your website says you can do anything!"

"Now it sounds braggy..." Melissa said to herself, taking a deep breath and regaining her composure. "First step - getting inside."

"Hey, I got a little something that might help!" Milo said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a tiny, pink rodent-like creature.

"What's that?"

"It's a naked mole rat! I named him Chase! Cute, isn't he?"

"Jury's still out on that one."

"Chase, buddy...think you can open these gates for us?" Milo asked his new rodent friend.

Chase squeaked in confirmation, scurrying up the wall and into the security keypad, disabling it from the inside before reappearing in front of the gates with a 'Ta-da!'

"Naked mole rats - pets of the future!"

Melissa scoffed. "A naked mole rat - gross and freaky, but handy."

"Wanna hold him?"

"Hard pass on that one," Melissa answered as she and Milo walked inside. Once they reached the vault, they found Paisley and McHenry trapped in the McHenry laser grid.

* * *

"What are those red things?"

"Lasers..."

"Yes...we'd like to have those shut off!" Mr. Paisley called out.

"Just tell me what I need to do!"

"Get that remote! But avoid the beams at all costs!" Mr. McHenry answered back.

Melissa shrugged. "Uh...okay."

She stepped back and launched herself into the vault, putting her cheerleading skills on full display before finally landing on the remote, putting her right foot on the red button to deactivate the laser grid.

"BOO-YAH, 'LISS!" Milo cheered.

"A cheerleader?" Mr. McHenry asked puzzlingly.

"That'd be Melissa Chase! She can do anything! Look us up online - WE'RE WORLDWIDE, BABY!" Milo celebrated.

* * *

Later that night, mission accomplished, Milo and Melissa sat in the back seat of Danny's car on the way back to Danville.

"Hey, Milo..."

"Yeah, Melissa?"

"You think maybe we've started something more with our rescue tonight?"

"Whatever we've started...I'll be right here for you, MC."

"That's all I can ask...thanks, Milo."

* * *

**Milo, Melissa...you two have no idea what you started with your rescue of Paisley and McHenry.**

**I hope I did well in opening this AU. Let me know if there's anything I need to improve on.**

**I'll be doing the episodes in production order, so next up will be 'Tick-Tick-Tick'! See ya then!**


	2. Tick-Tick-Tick

**We've seen Melissa's first mission, now it's time to get into the series proper. I'll be going in production order, starting with 'Tick-Tick-Tick'! ROLL IT!**

* * *

We start things off at Danville High School. Outside, the marquee reads 'Term Papers - Due Today'. Rushing into the building is Melissa Chase, with a clear sense of urgency apparent.

"Excuse me! In a hurry! Sorry!"

Melissa made it to her locker in a mad dash to print her term paper.

"Come on - Big bucks, no whammies!"

Unfortunately, all that she got was a bunch of junk.

"What in the world is this?!"

Ask Milo!

* * *

"'Liss, I downloaded locker codes for NBA 2K20. Today, I advance past the QUIT SEED in MyTeam mode!" Milo told Melissa. Melissa was not amused.

"MILO! I have 30 seconds to print my term paper!" the ginger informed as the printer rattled.

"Oh boy...paper jam alert!"

"TERM paper jam alert, Milo!"

Milo gave a smile, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his naked mole rat - Chase. "Nothing a naked mole rat service call can't fix. Chase! EMERGENCY!"

Chase stretched out in Milo's palm and gave a look at the duo.

"Milo, this is mad serious!"

"Chase can fix a 15 year old computer, Melissa. I think he can handle this."

No sooner than he said that, Chase got to work, diving deep into the printer and repairing the paper jam in nothing flat.

"Oh, 'Liss of little faith!"

Melissa was surprised, Milo's freaky pet rodent pulled it off!

"It's all here! The paper, footnotes, bibliography, Chase..."

Yeah...Chase somehow got into Melissa's term paper, forcing her to re-print it. However...

_RING!_

Too late. Just as she finished printing and started sprinting towards class, the bell rang and startled her, causing her to ram right into her teacher, Mr. Kyle Drako.

* * *

"Going somewhere, Ms. Chase?"

"M-Mr. Drako, I-I'm..." Melissa stammered.

"Tardy...3rd time this month. Looks like I'll be seeing you after school."

"At cheer practice?"

Zack came in soon after.

"I don't think so, Melissa. Drako's '3 strikes and you get detention,'" Zack warned. "So it looks like you're getting detention."

"Correct, Mr. Underwood."

"DETENTION?!" Melissa freaked.

* * *

(Kimmunicator beeps)

_**Oh yeah, yeah!**_

_**I'm your basic, average girl**_

_**and I'm here to save the world**_

_**You can't stop me 'cause I'm**_

_**KIM POS-SI-BLE**_

_**There is nothing I can't do**_

_**and when danger calls**_

_**just know that I am on my way **_**(know that I am on my way)**

_**Doesn't matter where or when there's trouble**_

_**If you just call my name**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

_**Call me, beep me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**When you wanna page me**_

_**It's okay**_

_**Whenever you need me, baby**_

_**Call Me, Beep Me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**Call Me! Beep Me!**_

_**If you wanna reach me! **_**(MELISSA!)**

_**Doesn't matter where**_

_**Doesn't matter when**_

_**I will be there for you 'til the very end**_

_**In danger or trouble**_

_**I'm there on the double**_

_**You know that you always can call...**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

**Melissa: So what's the sitch?**

_**Call Me, Beep Me if you wanna reach me!**_

* * *

**KIM POSSIBLE**

* * *

That night, during dinner, Melissa's twin brothers - Phineas and Ferb - were causing mischief...again.

"Boys, no launching food at the table," Melissa's father - renowned rocket scientist Richard Chase - chided. "Use the launch pad in the yard."

Phineas and Ferb smiled as they ran off.

"'Lissie, you haven't eaten a bite...what's wrong?" Melissa's mother - brain surgeon Pepper Chase - asked.

Melissa sighed. "Mom, you're a brain surgeon. Dad, you're a rocket scientist. What am I? DETENTION GIRL."

This shocked her parents.

"DETENTION?!" Melissa's parents freaked.

"A Chase has never gotten detention! Save for your brothers, but they're little monkeys."

"What happened, my little spark?"

"I was a little late to class. No big...unless you're Mr. '3 Strikes' Draco."

Mr. Chase chuckled. "Sound's like your Mr. Draco is tough but fair."

"But I'm a cheerleader! Cheerleaders don't do detention!"

"Then who does?" her mom asked.

"Other kids. Ones who break the rules."

"Like you did," Mr. Chase informed.

"Do I have the right to remain silent?" Melissa sarcastically asked as her Kimmunicator beeped. "What up, Zack?"

* * *

"Got a hit on your site from the Amazon. I set you up with Gustavo for your transportation."

Melissa wondered about Gustavo...then remembered how he helped his village during Hurricane Isaac.

"Oh! From Hurricane Isaac!"

"Don't forget your insect repellent!" Zack reminded as he signed off.

"South America?"

"On a school night?"

Melissa then brought out her favorite weapon - the Puppy Dog Pout.

"Okay...but finish your veggies first," Mrs. Chase said.

"Tough crowd."

* * *

Later that night, Melissa and Milo were on an amphibious plane bound for the Amazon.

"Thanks for the lift, Gustavo!"

"After you helped my village during Hurricane Isaac, I only wish I could do more!" Gustavo said to Melissa.

"It was just like swim practice! No big!"

"Except the Danville High pool doesn't have piranhas!" Milo remarked as the Kimmunicator beeped.

"Okay, Melissa. I can stream you the footage from the security camera now," Zack informed.

"Please and thank you!"

* * *

The Kimmunicator screen now showed Professor Acari's lab. Inside a woman with long black hair in a green and black jumpsuit flipped in and kicked the camera, causing it to malfunction.

"Rewind and freeze, Zack!"

Zack rewound the tape and froze the footage.

"Who is she? She's good..." Melissa remarked, only to be interrupted by Milo's loud slurping. "Milo, is that really necessary?"

* * *

"Hey, every drop counts when you're thousands of miles away from free refills, MC!"

On the way to Acari's lab, the trio of Melissa, Milo and Chase faced many dangers, from spiders to the unforgiving jungle...and even Chase getting stuck to Milo's leg.

"We're here...Professor Acari's lab!"

They were greeted by a short, middle-aged man, no older than 50.

"Melissa Chase! Thank goodness!" Professor Acari greeted.

"If I were you, I'd get someone out here to spray your yard. You've got a serious insect...issue."

The place was crawling with bugs!

* * *

"Any clue what was stolen, Professor?" Melissa asked.

"No idea. That's why I called you. Gang's all here."

Milo took note of the professor's computer which currently showed a barrage of butterflies.

"Hmmm...quite appropriate screensaver," Milo assessed as the butterflies fluttered off.

"Screensaver..." Melissa thought to herself as she checked her Kimmunicator. "No screensaver. What's on your computer?"

"Oh, it's a very experimental..."

The professor gasped.

"MY PROJECT! NO! THEY TOOK MY TICK!"

Upon hearing the word 'tick', Milo flashed back 4 years to the worst summer of his life - Camp Wannaweep.

* * *

(Flashback)

"Get back! Back, I say! Stay away, you multi-legged freaks!"

(End Flashback)

* * *

"My scalp was an all-you-can-drink buffet for those vermin."

"Oh, this tick wasn't alive," Acari reassured Milo.

"Don't you dare try to play me, Professor!"

"On the disc was a digital blueprint for a cyber-genetic tick that would be virtually identical to the real thing."

"So you designed a robot tick?" Melissa asked.

"Precisely."

"Quick question...WHY?" Milo asked.

"I have a lot of time on my hands."

"Maybe a little too much," Melissa snarked.

* * *

Meanwhile, on a small island in an undisclosed location...

...a woman in a green and black jumpsuit flew in to deliver the disk, only to fall into a trap door. She was met by a black-haired, blue faced man in a blue outfit with glasses on. This was Dr. Bradley Nicholson - also known as Dr. Drakken. The woman was known as Lydia Brooks - also known as Shego.

"Did you get it?" Drakken asked.

"I got it! Don't know why you'd want it, but I got it," Shego confirmed.

"My plan will reveal itself in due course, Shego," Drakken affirmed. "Who wants to build a robot tick? I DO! I DO!"

"You do realize you just said that out loud."

"BLAST!"

The next day at school...

...outside, the marquee read 'Detention - Room 12'. Inside, Melissa and Milo were working the case of Acari's stolen robo-tick. Zack quickly ran up to the duo.

"Zack, what have you got?" Melissa asked.

"I took that freeze-frame from the security camera footage of Acari's lab. Her name's Shego - she's wanted in 11 countries," Zack explained.

"And mega hot!" Milo added.

"SO NOT YOUR TYPE!" Melissa chided with a hint of jealousy in her tone as Drako came up behind them.

"CHASE! Snap to! It's 1500 hours!"

"You got detention, Melissa? Cheerleaders don't do detention!" Zack remarked.

"She has to do 1500 hours? Let the time fit the crime, Drako!" Milo barked.

"Milo...that's military time. It means 3 PM," Zack explained.

Room 12: D-Hall...

"Chase, meet Vinnie and Big Mike."

"'Sup, cheerleader?"

"Hey."

Another boy, a blonde wearing a hat, came in.

"Is this the assembly?"

"It's detention, Junior! Take a seat!"

"Whoa! What's a cheerleader doing in detention?" Junior asked.

"Waiting for it to be over."

Of course...the clock was busted, making it seem even longer for Melissa.

"I'm so doomed."

It's here where Melissa started to feel uncomfortable as Junior got a little too close.

"What?!"

"Never been this close to a cheerleader before. Your skin is so smooth and zit-free...like a baby's bottom."

"GROSS!"

She was shoved right straight into Big Mike, who was not pleased.

Neither was Drako. However, Chase came in to startle D-Hall.

"What's that?!" Drako freaked. "Vermin...bald, creepy..."

Chase freaked out Big Mike, then ran up Vinnie's leg.

"MC!" Milo whispered.

"What could it be, Mr. Drako?"

"Probably busted out of the science lab. Genetic mutation - when will they stop?"

"Maybe we should get out of here."

"Alright. EVACUATE MUTANT-INFESTED LOCATION!"

"YES!" Melissa celebrated.

"GO! GO! GO!"

Naked Mole Rat ploy successful! On to Bueno Nacho!

"Much needed bailout! Thank you, Milo!"

"Credit where credit is due, Melissa!" Milo told Melissa, referring back to Chase as Zack came in.

"You have no idea what it's like in there - it's a meeting of the Lifetime Losers' Club!"

This got a rise out of Milo, who's been in detention more times than he can count.

"Zack, got anything on our mystery crook?"

Zack nodded. "I've checked all the air-traffic records. Just the one plane heading for a small private island in the Caribbean."

"Total villain's lair territory!"

"And get this - local legend states the island's haunted!"

This freaked out Chase, who ran right straight into Zack's drink.

"Seriously? Haunted island? "Keep out, meddling kids"? As if!"

"Almost forgot! Check your backpack!"

Hearing this, Milo rooted through Melissa's backpack to grab the new gadgets.

"Milo, get out of there!"

"I gotta familiarize myself with the new equipment, like this high-tech...lipstick? What?!"

"Milo, that's not ordinary lipstick!" Zack warned.

Milo thought it was fruit-flavored...until it splattered on his face and turned into some form of elastic.

"Elastic Constricting Agent..."

Melissa then found a black, circular item hidden deep in her backpack. "Man, I've been looking for this! It's my compact!"

Milo freaked out. "What's that do?"

"It's just a small mirror that allows me to check my face. Let's jet, Milo!"

* * *

Hours later, Melissa, Milo and Chase swam through the waters surrounding the Caribbean, setting off the intruder alert. They were then captured in Dr. Drakken's lair.

"I have heard of you. The world famous teen hero Melissa Chase."

"And her boyfriend," Shego added.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Melissa retorted.

"And surely, you've heard of my work."

"Sorry, never heard of you."

"Think for a minute. It'll come to you."

"I really don't know who you are."

"Doctor Drakken..."

"Dr. Drakken."

"HA! I see my reputation precedes me."

"You have something that doesn't belong to you, Drakken!"

"Enough chatter! My pets are famished. Perhaps you to could stay..."

"...for lunch?" Milo finished. "What? He was so going for that."

* * *

Drakken gave an evil grin as he pressed a button, dropping Melissa and Milo into the shark pit, but the sharks were no match for Melissa as they were quickly tied up by her Elastic Constricting Agent Lipstick. They soon found themselves in Drakken's lab, where he was building his robo-explosive ticks. His plan: Bend everyone to his will or he'll explode them. He had an army of the ticks...all but 1 exploded due to Murphy's law. The last one attached itself to Melissa's nose after Melissa deflected laser blasts off her compact, destroying Drakken's lair.

* * *

The next day at cheer practice...

Melissa had gained some street cred from the D-Hall crew! After taking a thank you call from Acari, she tried to get cheer practice started, only to be intercepted by Drako calling her back into detention.

"Detention?! Melissa, maybe no-one's informed you, but we cheerleaders don't get detention!" Candace snarkily informed.

At D-Hall, the trio of Junior, Vinnie and Big Mike noticed the explosive Nano-Tick on Melissa's nose. She was able to escape Drako, however...Drakken was able to track the tick. She and Milo were being pursued not only by Drako and the D-Hall crew, but also by Drakken and Shego with their Grav-Atomic ray. Melissa did save Junior, Vinnie, Big Mike and Drako...while Drakken got sprayed by a fire hydrant.

* * *

"Yeah...YOU DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!" Shego barked as they arrived at Bueno Nacho.

"If you'll just tell me what to do, I'll do it!"

"What did we agree on?"

"I no touchie anything?"

"Exactly!"

Melissa soon found herself in a battle with Shego as Zack came into the picture.

* * *

"Zack, thank goodness!" Milo greeted in relief. "We need a way to get that tick off of Melissa before it explodes!" the jinx freaked as Drakken engaged the detonation sequence.

"You can't disarm something that small! We gotta get the tick to let go somehow. There must be some way to burn the circuits!" Zack assessed.

"This calls for the most dangerous chemical known to modern man. Neal, Diablo Sauce!" Milo called out to Neal, who threw him a Diablo Sauce packet. Milo opened it just as Big Mike sat on Shego. Milo took Melissa in his arms, opened the sauce packet and gently dropped some of the sauce onto the tick on Melissa's nose, frying the circuits. He then took a straw and slurped up the tick, only for it to get stuck.

"The tick...is in...the straw..." Milo said, muffled. "THE TICK IS IN THE STRAW! WHAT DO I DO?!"

Enter Melissa! She took the straw from Milo and blew out the tick onto Drakken's hover car...just as it was about to explode!

"YOU THINK YOU'RE ALL THAT, MELISSA CHASE...BUT YOU'RE NOT!"

"Perimeter secure," Melissa remarked.

Well...almost secure. There's still the matter of your detention, Melissa.

* * *

Back in room 12...Drako was losing his mind over Melissa polishing Big Mike's nails.

"Detention is supposed to be a punishment! A time of quiet suffering!"

"You didn't count on the Melissa factor, Drako."

"Guys, what do we do?" Melissa asked.

"Take turns..." Vinnie and Junior said.

"Right..."

* * *

**And that was 'Tick-Tick-Tick'! Next up: 'Bueno Nacho'! See ya then!**


	3. Bueno Nacho

**How about a little trip to Bueno Nacho to continue the KP AU? ROLL IT!**

* * *

We begin at the Danville home of teen hero Melissa Chase. Right now, she's on her Melissa-link, checking the Club Banana website for the latest fashions.

"It's criminal!" the ginger remarked. "Someone at Club Banana has a major case of style denial!"

She then happened upon a trendy green jacket.

"JACKPOT, BABY! This is so totally me!" she celebrated. "Come to Melissa!"

Not so fast, Melissa! Zack just popped up on your screen.

"Melissa, I've got some bad news..." Zack began.

"No kidding. I so can not afford this jacket!"

"I know. I pulled up your bank account...you're busted. Anyway, that's not the worst of it."

"Apparently, my classmate and friend who runs my website has been hacking into my personal records," Melissa responded, completely miffed...and with a gasp. "Did you peek at my journal?"

"Of course not! Anyway, the worse news is that your arch-foe, Dr. Drakken, has just escaped from prison! He and Shego are after a top secret laser drill hidden somewhere in Alaska."

"That's major bad news!"

"Almost as bad as last week at school when you used the boys' bathroom by mistake!"

Wait a second...no one saw that!

"You did peek at my journal, didn't you?"

Zack knew he was busted. "Good luck on the mission!" He quickly said before logging off.

* * *

(Kimmunicator beeps)

_**Oh yeah, yeah!**_

_**I'm your basic, average girl**_

_**and I'm here to save the world**_

_**You can't stop me 'cause I'm**_

_**KIM POS-SI-BLE**_

_**There is nothing I can't do**_

_**and when danger calls**_

_**just know that I am on my way **_**(know that I am on my way)**

_**Doesn't matter where or when there's trouble**_

_**If you just call my name**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

_**Call me, beep me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**When you wanna page me**_

_**It's okay**_

_**Whenever you need me, baby**_

_**Call Me, Beep Me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**Call Me! Beep Me!**_

_**If you wanna reach me! **_**(MELISSA!)**

_**Doesn't matter where**_

_**Doesn't matter when**_

_**I will be there for you 'til the very end**_

_**In danger or trouble**_

_**I'm there on the double**_

_**You know that you always can call...**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

**Melissa: So what's the sitch?**

_**Call Me, Beep Me if you wanna reach me!**_

* * *

**KIM POSSIBLE**

* * *

Milo, Melissa and Chase had made it to Alaska and were getting a lift to the military base by their friend, Akut. Meanwhile, someone was testing the laser drill...only to be scared by Drakken!

"MOTHER OF PEARL! You scared me half to death!"

"Only half?"

* * *

With Milo and Melissa now...

"Thanks for the lift, Akut!"

"No problem, Melissa. You saved my life. It's the least I could do to thank you!"

"It was just an itty bitty iceberg! SO NOT THE DRAMA!"

"MELISSA! I'M SNOW-BLIND!" Milo called out as snow had gotten on his goggles.

Melissa was not amused. She quickly cleared the snow away from Milo's goggles. "MILO! You're supposed to be looking for signs of Drakken!"

Milo then caught sight of the laser drill.

"Uh, wouldn't that be majorly suspicious, Melissa?"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious! Keep your eyes open for any..."

* * *

Melissa was cut off by the zooming of a snowmobile engine. The pilot of said snowmobile - none other than Shego. And she was wearing Melissa's sought-after green Club Banana jacket!

"The mad scientist's mad partner..." Milo said in a serious voice as Shego threw dog biscuits at Akut's sled to distract the hounds. Melissa bailed and pursued on snowboard. Milo attempted to follow suit...but Murphy's law had other plans as he face-planted into the snow. As Melissa pursued Shego, Drakken and his goons hooked the laser drill to a set of choppers. Melissa and Shego even mocked each other's fashion sense.

"Nice jacket! Club Banana?"

"The very latest!"

"Get a lifestyle, Shego! Green is the new black!"

"And this advice comes to us from a major fashion DON'T in FLEECE!"

As Drakken's goons started to take off with the drill, Shego showed Melissa a bomb.

"It's gonna blow the pipeline, 'Lissie and like, your skin...definitely doesn't need more oil!" Shego remarked, attaching the bomb to her snowmobile and jumping onto the laser drill to join Drakken.

"PITY ON YOU, MELISSA CHASE!" Drakken gloated. "Well done, Shego. Phase 1 is complete!"

Melissa had to act fast. She bailed from her snowboard and veered the snowmobile away from the pipeline and off a cliff...right as it exploded and right as Milo crashed.

"Okay...not one of my better entrances," Milo remarked.

* * *

The next morning, Melissa is having breakfast with her rocket scientist father and her brain surgeon mother.

"No, no, no! The launch vectors are all wrong!" Dr. Richard Chase chided himself.

"Good morning, dad!"

"Good morning, princess! How's my teen hero?"

"Moderately bummed. Drakken got away."

"Well, I'm sure you'll get him next time! You always do!"

Melissa then looked at her dad's calculations.

"Why don't you try adjusting the launch vectors 11%?" she asked.

It worked.

* * *

"BRILLIANT, MELISSA!" her dad exclaimed.

Melissa then showed both her mom and dad the jacket. Both said no - they wouldn't get it for her, stating that she already had a perfectly fine red jacket. She tried the Puppy Dog Pout...no effect. That's when the Tweebs showed up.

"DAD!" Phineas and Ferb called out.

"Tweebs, I'm working here!"

"What's the combustion temperature of the J-200 rocket fuel you developed?" Phineas asked.

"47 degrees Celsius," Mr. Dr. Chase told Phineas. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason..." Ferb said sheepishly.

KA-BOOM!

"Uh...GOTTA GO!"

Mrs. Dr. Chase then suggested she get a job at her favorite hangout - Bueno Nacho.

"Between a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon, the best you can come up with is Bueno Nacho?" Melissa furiously asked.

"You practically live there anyway!" Dr. Pepper Chase remarked.

* * *

Later that day, at Bueno Nacho #582...

"Come on, Milo! We practically live here anyway!" Melissa tried to encourage her childhood friend.

"Never work where you food, Melissa."

"'Rents were totally neg on simply buying me the jacket."

"Did you try the Puppy Dog Pout?"

"Only did 50% of normal damage," Melissa said, throwing in a Pokemon reference.

"Doe Eyes?"

"No effect, if I want the jacket, I have to earn it."

"Mad harsh," Milo remarked pouring nachos into his taco shell and wrapping it up.

"What in the world are you eating?"

"Taco meets Nachos - I give you...THE NACO!"

* * *

Melissa got a good look at Milo's zany creation...

"I call it weird and gross beyond reason."

"Want some?" Milo asked with a mouthful. Chase, Milo's naked mole rat friend, quickly took a bite of Milo's new creation.

"Pass."

Melissa did the math. 2 weeks of work here and that jacket is hers! They were soon met by the assistant manager - Neal. Melissa tried to impress him with her bilingual skills, but no effect. She was hired on the spot, as was Milo...who had to be coerced by way of the Puppy Dog Pout, alongside Melissa's other signature move - the Doe Eyes.

Their performance, however...differed. Wherever Milo succeeded, Melissa failed. Milo quickly rose through the ranks, soon becoming Neal's 2nd in command. Melissa then gets a hot tip from Zack about seismic activity in Wisconsin.

"Major red flags here, Zack!"

"It gets weirder, Melissa! Epicenter of it all is at the World's Largest Cheese Wheel! And get this! Police reports state that there was a break-in at the Cheese Wheel Mall's Club Banana!" Zack informed.

Only one thing was stolen - leather...green leather. That means SHEGO! Melissa decides to bail on Bueno Nacho and Milo to save the world on her own.

* * *

Before she set off, Melissa's back at home on the phone with her mom.

"Mom, I need some motherly support. I just had a fight with Milo. He was all high-horse because I bailed on work and I really need to stop Drakken, but he thinks I quit because I couldn't take him being good at something, which is so pathetic it's not even funny!"

"I need a suture here," Melissa's mom told her team.

Yes...Mrs. Dr. Chase had her daughter on speaker phone.

"MOM! Do you have me on speaker?"

"Sorry, 'Lissie. Got both my hands in a 62 year old man's temporal lobe."

"DANG IT, MOM!"

"Gotta go, honey. See you at dinner! Dad's picking up Nacos!"

* * *

Kim's transportation for this mission - another one of her friends, Mr. Parker!

"I can't tell you how grateful I am for this, Mr. Parker!"

"After the way you saved my crop-dusting business, I'm only too happy to help!"

"No big! Going organic was a total no-brainer!"

"Get ready...NOW!"

Mr. Parker turned his plane over, dropping Melissa into the sky. Once she was in the drop zone, she pulled her chute and landed in the World's Largest Wheel of Cheese. Now, you may assume that it's a cheese-covered building...as did Melissa. But no...it's 100% pure Wisconsin Swiss!

* * *

"Zack, get this...I'm inside the cheese wheel!"

"Which surprisingly is not a cheese-covered building. It's pure Wisconsin Swiss!"

"So I've heard. Drakken's got the whole mad scientist lair thing down. They love the high ceilings."

Zack smiled in confirmation. "Check your pack, Melissa!"

Melissa dug through her backpack to find...

"A hair dryer? I'm more of a towel-off girl, myself."

"It only LOOKS like a hair dryer," Zack told Melissa.

It was actually a grappling hook disguised as a hair dryer!

"You rock in 4K, Zack!"

* * *

Melissa fired her grappling hook at the cheese wheel and rappelled down the side of the building, only to be intercepted by Shego.

"Welcome, 'Lissie! May I take your coat?"

"You already did...but don't worry - It'll look better on ME!" Melissa quipped as she took out the henchmen. However, she was quickly captured by more of Drakken's goons.

"Face it, Cupcake...fashion's not the only thing where I'm a step ahead of you..."

Kim was tied up to the cheese wheel as Dr. Drakken ascended into view. His plan - use the stolen laser drill to tap into the molten magma deep beneath the Earth's crust, then use it to destroy Wisconsin and rebuild it into the Kingdom of Drakkenville.

* * *

Back at Bueno Nacho, Milo had overtaken Neal as Assistant Manager...just in time for Melissa to need his help. Now he had a choice - his job as Assistant Manager or his best friend.

"There is no choice. I guess it's time for me to say...Adios, Bueno Nacho."

And with that, Milo left for Wisconsin. He had half an hour to join Melissa and stop Drakken.

* * *

Once in Wisconsin, he made his way inside the Cheese Wheel to where Melissa was...only to be nabbed by Shego.

"I gooned on Assistant Manager powers, MC. You were right," Milo confessed.

"And I did resent your techniques, Milo," Melissa responded. "You're entitled to excel. Forgive?"

"Duh! Forgive me?"

"Totally!"

"Aw, isn't that cute...friends again just in time to be fried in magma!" Drakken mockingly quipped just as the laser drill hit magma.

"Drill's hit magma, Dr. D.!" Shego alerted Drakken.

"Fire up the MAGMACHINE and activate the Magma Pump!"

* * *

Drakken had begun to pump the magma from beneath the Earth's crust just as Chase popped out of Milo's pocket.

"Chase! Push the button!" Melissa whispered. Chase ran up Milo's shirt and pushed the silver button, releasing Milo and Melissa.

"Here's the plan, Milo. You get to the laser drill - I'll handle Shego. You've got a giant wheel of cheese - BE CREATIVE!"

Milo smiled. "It will be my masterpiece!"

"Be careful," Milo and Melissa said in unison.

"JINX! You owe me a soda!" Melissa called out.

"DANG IT! I hate it when you do that!"

* * *

Melissa and Milo's escape takes Drakken by surprise as his laser drill malfunctions, turning the World's Largest Wheel of Cheese...into a pile of Velveeta as Melissa battles Shego.

"Don't tell me that this place is actually made of cheese! I thought it was a cheese-covered building!"

"MELISSA!" Milo called out as Melissa's battle with Shego raged on. One of the boxes exploded, causing Shego to fall into the melted cheese.

"MC!"

Melissa launched her grappling hook hair dryer into the cheese, grabbing Milo and bailing out as the World's Largest Wheel of Cheese melted entirely.

"THIS...IS NOT...OVER, MELISSA CHASE!" Drakken declared as he and Shego were trapped in the cheese.

* * *

Outside, Milo, Melissa and the tourists who came for the cheese wheel marveled at Milo's work.

"Drakken's plan is so foiled!"

"It's so over! I call it 'BAD GUY CON QUESO'."

* * *

Later that day at Bueno Nacho...

"What's wrong, MC? You won!"

"I'm very happy, Milo..." Melissa sarcastically remarked.

"You don't sound like it," Milo contradicted.

"Okay, I know this is gonna sound mega shallow, but I saved the world and I'm no closer to owning that Club Banana jacket!"

"Maybe..." Milo started. "...MAYBE NOT!" the jinx said as he handed Melissa a box with the Club Banana logo on it. Inside...was a green leather jacket in Melissa's size.

"How did you..."

"My Naco Bonus was muy bueno..."

"I LOVE IT!" Melissa said, hugging her best friend. The joy would be short-lived as Neal came out wearing the same jacket that Milo just gave Melissa.

"What in the world are you wearing, Neal?"

"Somebody left this picture over the cheese machine and I just had to have it!" Neal explained, holding up the picture of the green leather jacket. "VIVA ME!"

"Exchange it..."

"Oh yeah."

* * *

**And that was 'Bueno Nacho'! Next up, it's off to Cambodia...as MONKEY FIST STRIKES!**


	4. Monkey Fist Strikes

**Time for episode 3! This time, Milo and Melissa are called away to Asia to help a noted scholar and archaeologist recover a legendary statue presumed to contain Mystical Monkey Powers, but does this archaeologist have a hidden agenda? We're about to find out!**

* * *

Somewhere deep in Yosemite National Park, teen hero Melissa Chase is climbing up the side of a mountain in search of something, guided only by the signal of her Melissa-Link.

"Signal strong...and extremely annoying."

As Melissa climbed, Milo and his mole rat friend Chase followed behind.

"Don't look down, Chase! Don't look down!"

Too late...Chase looked down!

Inside a small cave, Melissa found a little eaglet!

"There you are, you little rascal!"

Behind Melissa, Milo was trying to catch up when...HE LOST HIS PANTS!

"Okay...minor setback."

Melissa assured the little eaglet that his wing would be fixed and that he was safe as she put the little bird into her pocket, rappelling down when...THE ROPE SNAPPED!

"MC!" Milo called out to his best friend.

* * *

(Kimmunicator beeps)

_**Oh yeah, yeah!**_

_**I'm your basic, average girl**_

_**and I'm here to save the world**_

_**You can't stop me 'cause I'm**_

_**KIM POS-SI-BLE**_

_**There is nothing I can't do**_

_**and when danger calls**_

_**just know that I am on my way **_**(know that I am on my way)**

_**Doesn't matter where or when there's trouble**_

_**If you just call my name**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

_**Call me, beep me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**When you wanna page me**_

_**It's okay**_

_**Whenever you need me, baby**_

_**Call Me, Beep Me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**Call Me! Beep Me!**_

_**If you wanna reach me! **_**(MELISSA!)**

_**Doesn't matter where**_

_**Doesn't matter when**_

_**I will be there for you 'til the very end**_

_**In danger or trouble**_

_**I'm there on the double**_

_**You know that you always can call...**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

**Melissa: So what's the sitch?**

_**Call Me, Beep Me if you wanna reach me!**_

* * *

**KIM POSSIBLE**

* * *

Melissa was falling fast, but she knew to pull her chute, resulting in a safe landing right in front of the park ranger. She showed the little eaglet to the ranger...

"You saved a life, Melissa Chase," the ranger said.

"It's what I do! You know, the help thing."

"I'm the sidekick!"

And the Melissa-Link goes off...NOW. Only it wasn't Zack...it was her dad calling about Family Game Night with Cousin Danny. However, thanks to her mission, Melissa dodged her loser cousin once more!

"CLOSE ONE, COUS', BUT NOT THIS TIME!" Melissa cheered.

"Cousin Danny again? You've been complaining about him since we were kids! What's the big deal about him?" Milo asked.

"You got all night, Milo?" Melissa responded as she told the story of Cousin Danny. It started back when she was 3. Her Aunt Julie brought Cousin Danny over for a play date. Fast forward to Family Game Night - once a month, Cousin Danny comes over and Melissa is stuck in what she calls 'FREAKVILLE'! Danny goes on about these conventions he goes to...IN COSTUME! Add that to the video games he plays...especially 'Fortress', which apparently Milo is into.

Zack appeared soon after...wait, isn't he supposed to be in his computer class right now?

"Hmm...hologram..." Melissa deduced.

"The technology is incredible! You can literally be in two places at the same time!" Zack told Milo and Melissa. "Anyway, you got a hit on the website from Lord Victor Verliezer."

"Princeton University Graduate, esteemed archaeologist?"

"How'd you know?"

"Caught a documentary on him last week on The Uncovery Channel."

"You never struck me as the documentary type, Melissa," Milo said to his ginger best friend.

"Documentary type or not, Lord Verliezer needs you guys to help him get a rare artifact that he's discovered the location of," Zack told the duo as a piece of paper printed out.

"Spankin'! Who do you know who can give us a lift?"

"CAMBODIA?! ON A SCHOOL NIGHT?"

That's right, Milo! As for your lift...try the United States Army!

* * *

"Thanks for the lift, General Mueller!"

"After the way you tipped us off to that assault, it's an honor and a privilege."

Once in Cambodia, the duo happened upon a monkey temple, which conjures up bad memories for Milo as they meet up with Lord Verliezer.

"Melissa Chase, I presume. I'm Lord Victor Verliezer and this is my valet Bates."

"This is my friend Milo."

"Your friend seems rather troubled."

"Goes back to his first summer at Camp Wannaweep - he had to bunk with the camp mascot, Bobo the Chimp."

* * *

(Flashback - 6 years ago: Camp Wannaweep)

Bobo the Chimp was trashing Cabin 13, making a mess of things and freaking young Milo Murphy out.

"It's times like these where I could really use your help right now, MC!" Young Milo called out.

(End flashback)

* * *

"That was one crazy monkey!"

Lord Verliezer was quick to point out that chimpanzees are not monkeys at all, they're apes. But Milo's fears get the better of him. Melissa told Milo to get a grip...however, Milo senses something off about his lordship.

"Bad...Road!" Milo warned as Lord Verliezer tells the duo of a mystical Jade Statue, shaped like a monkey. Legend states that when the statue in question is put in alignment with 3 others like it, it'll give off a Mystical Monkey Power. That's when Melissa steps up to do her thing. After falling through a trapdoor, bouncing off of walls, dodging flames and conquering snakes (why'd it have to be snakes?), Melissa escaped with the Jade Monkey!

"MC! Are you alright?" Milo asked.

"Melissa Chase! Well done! I shall see to it that the National Museum celebrate your heroic efforts!" Lord Verliezer cheered.

That night, Milo continued his warning about Verliezer.

"I'm tellin' you, MC. That guy is 500 miles of bad road!"

"Milo, please! He's got a royal title!"

"Which you can buy online!"

While Melissa went to sleep, Milo couldn't as there was a monkey ninja in the camp...AND THEY TOOK THE STATUE! Melissa put up a brave and valiant fight, but the Monkey Ninja was too tough and made off with the Jade Monkey.

"What's all this then?" Lord Verliezer asked.

"The Jade Statue's gone!"

"How shockingly awful! Word of our discovery must've gotten out! If only your bravery wasn't wasted!"

* * *

Cambodia turned out to be a mixed bag - good because Melissa saved a priceless artifact from an ancient temple and bad because a ninja stole it. When she got home, Melissa was in for the surprise of her life as her dad told her that Aunt Julie had invited the whole family over for dinner Saturday night!

"I-I wouldn't want to impose..."

"Nonsense! Aunt Julie says Danny never has friends over," Mr. Dr. Chase told his daughter as the Tweebs showed up.

"Maybe because he's the dweebiest guy on the face of the Earth..." Ferb assessed.

"Don't mock family, Ferb."

"Maybe he's not even of this planet! Maybe he's from some far-off planet of the dweebs!" Phineas said, high-fiving his brother.

Melissa slammed her head on the table, knowing that this Saturday was bound to be the worst of her life.

* * *

Over at Bueno Nacho #582...

"Saturday is going to be night of the living Danny!"

"Your cousin seems like a majorly fun guy, MC!"

"Want me to send him to your house, Milo?" Melissa asked as the Melissa-Link beeped. "What's the sitch, Zack?"

"I dug up some info on that Jade Monkey - apparently the temple was one of 4 built by followers of Monkey Kung Fu. Each temple had a Jade Monkey. According to legend, when the 4 monkeys were brought together, it gave the warriors Mystical Monkey Power," Zack explained.

"Why separate the monkeys?"

"Because Mystical Monkey Power is SICK AND WRONG!" Milo called out.

"Actually, the warriors didn't want anyone else to get the power."

Perhaps the thief believed the legend. And that thief...LORD VICTOR VERLIEZER! He used Melissa to get the last statue, used the family fortune on genetic mutations and experimental surgery to become a man-monkey hybrid! He became...MONKEY FIST! Now Melissa has to see him for answers on the Mystical Monkey Power and Monkey Kung Fu this weekend. One problem...dinner with Cousin Danny and Aunt Julie on Saturday. All flaking options off-limits for this one. However, Zack suggests sending the Holo-Melissa! She promised her father she wouldn't flake...but Zack really wanted to test out his Holographic Simulator, so the Virtual Flake was on.

* * *

In Britain, the duo was met by Lord Verliezer's valet Bates, who announced their presence while back in Danville, the Holo-Melissa dealt with Cousin Danny.

"So...you know all about my obsession with Tai Shing Pek Kwar..." Verliezer said to the duo.

"What?"

"Playing dumb, I see. Tai Shing Pek Kwar is MONKEY KUNG FU!" Verliezer called out as he led them to a secret room. "But did you know I also spent the family fortune to become a MAN-MONKEY?!" he added, showing his monkey arms and legs, stepping in between the 4 statues and gaining Mystical Monkey Power.

"I...AM...MONKEY FIST!"

* * *

Milo thought back to Level 9 of Fortress - to defeat the Cloud Guardian, he had to drink from his Enchanted Well. He had to become that which he feared most. While Melissa distracted Monkey Fist, Milo stepped into the Monkey Circle.

"HIT ME, MONKEYS!"

In the blink of an eye, Milo became endowed with Mystical Monkey Power! Now for Phase 2 - pulling the plug on Monkey Fist!

"CHASE! SEARCH AND DESTROY!"

Chase had just bitten Bates and scurried off in search of the 4 idols. While Monkey Fist caught them all...he left himself wide open for attack.

"MONKEY THIS, YOU HAIRY FREAK!"

* * *

One swift kick to the chest was all it took to knock out Monkey Fist. He and Bates were both taken into custody while back in Danville, Melissa and Milo were caught in a Dr. Zone discussion with Cousin Danny.

"Go on! This is cool stuff! You wanna watch with us?"

"NOT EVEN A CHANCE!"

* * *

**Yeah, good luck trying to get Melissa into all that! I think I'll skip 'Attack of the Killer Bebes' and go right to 'Crush' next! SEE YA THEN!**


	5. Crush

**Finally getting back to the Kim Possible AU! This time, Melissa deals with asking her crush - Chad Mankey - to the Spirit Week Dance, but Drakken and Shego are unleashing another world domination plan at the same time. Will she be able to balance all this? Let's find out!**

* * *

It was early October at Middleton High. The school marquee read 'Spirit Week - Dance Friday'. Inside, an awkward, weird, 16 year old embodiment of bad luck and chaos was digging through his locker, searching for his little not-so-furry friend.

"Chase? Chase? Here boy!" Milo called out.

"Maybe he's hibernating," Melissa remarked.

"Likelihood of that is 0 percent, MC. It's Spirit Week! If the little guy missed it, he'd be crushed!" Milo responded as the contents of his locker tumbled and he was tickled inside his shirt. Inside his pocket, he found...

"CHASE!"

"A naked mole rat...Milo, ever think about getting a normal pet?"

"Like what?"

"Something NOT NAKED!"

"NEVER BE NORMAL! That's the Milo Murphy motto!"

Melissa was soon frozen, as if something was distracting her. Milo waved his hand in front of her face to try and get her attention.

"'Lissa? MC? Melissa Chase?"

No response. Milo then looked across the way, only to see who was distracting Melissa.

"Oh, it's Chad Mankey..." he said in a jealous tone.

"BLARGH! Mankey..." Chase responded.

* * *

(Kimmunicator beeps)

_**Oh yeah, yeah!**_

_**I'm your basic, average girl**_

_**and I'm here to save the world**_

_**You can't stop me 'cause I'm**_

_**KIM POS-SI-BLE**_

_**There is nothing I can't do**_

_**and when danger calls**_

_**just know that I am on my way **_**(know that I am on my way)**

_**Doesn't matter where or when there's trouble**_

_**If you just call my name**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

_**Call me, beep me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**When you wanna page me**_

_**It's okay**_

_**Whenever you need me, baby**_

_**Call Me, Beep Me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**Call Me! Beep Me!**_

_**If you wanna reach me! **_**(MELISSA!)**

_**Doesn't matter where**_

_**Doesn't matter when**_

_**I will be there for you 'til the very end**_

_**In danger or trouble**_

_**I'm there on the double**_

_**You know that you always can call...**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

**Melissa: So what's the sitch?**

_**Call Me, Beep Me if you wanna reach me!**_

* * *

**KIM POSSIBLE**

* * *

"Tone it down, Melissa! Someone might think you're crushing on Mankey!" Milo warned.

"ACK! Mankey..." Chase responded in a disgusted tone. Milo looked to his right only to find that Melissa had run off to talk to Chad Mankey. Unfortunately for Melissa, she got all flustered as Chad put up posters for the Spirit Week Dance.

"I can't even form a sentence around the guy! How am I gonna ask him to Friday's dance?" Melissa freaked.

"Ask Mankey? I don't know, Melissa. Wouldn't he feel awkward...with us?" Milo asked.

"What do you mean, Milo?"

"I mean we always go together..." Milo said to his best friend.

"Yeah...but that says 'just friends'. I was thinking more along the lines of..."

"Enemy?"

"OH HELL TO THE NO! I was thinking about lining up a...date."

Hearing the word 'date' startled Milo. He was hoping he and Melissa go together, as they always did. Milo thought he could do the same.

"So who are you gonna go with?" Melissa asked. Milo soon caught sight of Amanda Lopez, Melissa's second in command on the cheer squad. He ran after her, asking her to Friday's dance and sure enough...she said yes!

No sooner than that happened, Zack charged in. "Hey, guys! You would not believe how many hits the site's been getting! Everyone wants your help!"

Zack then pulled up all the hits Melissa's site had gotten. One of which involved cat-sitting. 7 days, 8 cats, 1 litter box...Melissa's site may say that she can do anything, but you gotta draw the line somewhere.

There was one hit that caught Milo's eye.

"Tokyo! I love the French!" Milo marveled.

"Tokyo's in Japan, Milo..." Melissa deadpanned.

"That one's an emergency!" Zack said. "I'll stream the security feed."

On the security feed, we see Drakken flying in with something and kicking out one of the cameras.

"Rewind and freeze, Zack!"

Tape rewound and frozen...

"Dr. Drakken..."

"Our archenemy...well, your archenemy. I don't think he even knows my name."

"Come on, Milo! Let's jet!"

"One question...how are we gonna get to Tokyo?"

"I'll phone a friend..."

"Melissa, this isn't 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'!"

* * *

Melissa wasn't joking. Their ride...teen pop sensation Mandy Cypress!

"Oooh! Sweet ride!"

"Thanks for the lift, Mandy!"

"Melissa, it's the least I could do after you saved my Nashville show!" Mandy said to Melissa.

"That backstage fire was no big!"

"For you! It must be so nice not to be afraid of anything!"

"Fearless...I'm not."

"Uh, Melissa...I've seen you wrestle a shark with your bare hands..." Milo reminded Melissa.

"Yeah, what could scare you?"

"His name's Chad Mankey..." Melissa confessed.

"Oh...crush story..."

"I always get so weird around him...can never form a full sentence around him..."

"Just go for it! What's the worst that could happen?" Mandy encouraged Melissa as they reached Tokyo. The scene of the crime - Nakasumi Toys. There, they met up with the company's President/Founder/CEO, Hiroto Nakasumi and his translator, Yoshiko Kiyoko.

"Ms. Chase, thank you and welcome to Nakasumi Industries headquarters. I am Yoshiko Kiyoko, translator for Nakasumi-san," Ms. Kiyoko introduced.

"What's the sitch, Ms. Kiyoko?"

"They've taken over our entire factory. All our workers are trapped!"

"How many?"

"2."

"200?" Milo asked.

"No, just 2. This is the most automated factory in the world."

Soon after talking with Ms. Kiyoko, Melissa and Milo worked their way to the gates of the factory. Melissa used her hair-dryer grappling hook to make her way to the roof. Milo on the other hand...lost his pants. He then lost his shirt before finally shooting himself up to the roof.

* * *

"That's weird...why would Drakken take over a video game factory?"

"No-brainer, MC! This factory makes the Swap - the most advanced graphics processor and gaming device in the world! It's not due to come out stateside until November! It's the must-have gift of the holiday season!" Milo explained. He then put the pieces together..."DRAKKEN WANTS TO STEAL CHRISTMAS!"

"Milo, I know my enemies...Drakken wants to take over the world."

They'd have this 'steal Christmas/take over the world' debate until they got inside the factory. Melissa then got out her compact, finding the hostages.

"OH NO!"

"What is it, MC?"

"Thought I saw a zit. False alarm!" Melissa said, closing her compact. "I'll free the hostages, you take care of Drakken. Take the Melissa-link and jack it in to the video."

"You mean I'm..."

"The distraction."

"Aw...I'm always the distraction..."

* * *

Meanwhile, Drakken was working to obtain the assembly line, which was making Swap gaming consoles at a rate of 100 per minute.

"ARRRGH! Cartoons make my eyes burn!" Drakken growled. "Can't you turn that off?"

No response from the hostages.

"Put some greasy elbows into it!" Drakken barked as Shego came up behind him. "SHEGO! Never sneak up on me!"

"I wasn't sneaking!" Shego retorted.

"Ninjas make more noise than you!"

* * *

While that was going on, Milo had hacked in to the factory's video system and was broadcasting naked mole rat shenanigans!

"That voice..."

"That's Melissa Chase's goofy sidekick!"

"I can never remember his name..."

While Milo did his thing, Melissa used her laser lipstick to free the hostages as Milo got trapped between the prongs of a forklift.

"YOU'RE CANCELLED!" Drakken retorted.

"MILO!" Melissa called out.

"MELISSA CHASE!"

"Her I remember. So, Melissa Chase...you think to thwart my evil plan..." Drakken started, only to be hushed by Shego.

"Uh, newsflash, Drakken...any time you stop to blab about your evil plan...SHE WINS!" Shego warned.

"Good point..." Drakken inferred, snapping his fingers. On that cue, his henchmen hooked the assembly line to a helicopter and spirited it away to his lair.

"SOME OTHER DAY, MELISSA CHASE!"

"Quick, where's our helicopter?" Milo asked.

"We don't have one, Milo..."

"Bummer..."

* * *

The next morning, Melissa's dad was reading about his daughter's rescue of the Nakasumi employees. The minute Melissa mentioned Chad, Phineas and Ferb came in and mocked her.

"Oooh! MELISSA'S GOT A BOYFRIEND! MELISSA'S GOT A BOYFRIEND!" Phineas and Ferb chanted.

"You know...I oughta slug you Tweebs right here..." Melissa threatened as her twin brothers sat down for breakfast. She then mused on to her mom about Chad, telling her about her situation. Phineas and Ferb suggested sending an anonymous e-mail, routed through Sweden...only to be busted by their dad for doing the same to their principal.

"Melissa, telling a boy you like him is kind of like jumping into a really cold pool - deep breath then take the plunge."

* * *

That day at school, Melissa tried before cheer practice to ask Chad to the dance, only to be intercepted by her cheer rival - Candace Flynn.

"Hi, Melissa!"

"Candace..."

"You don't mind if I watch, do you?"

"Watch what?"

"You...Chad...it's so obvious that you're crushing on him."

"SO NOT!"

"Gonna ask him to the dance?"

"What's it to you, Flynn?"

"I think it's great..."

"Really?"

"Yeah...I get to see you CRASH AND BURN!"

"Maybe he'll say yes..."

"Maybe, but he's turned down girls higher on the Food Chain than you."

"I'm asking him anyway, Candace!"

"Go for it!"

"I will...after practice."

* * *

Right in the middle of attempting a Doghouse Pyramid, however...the Melissa-link went off. Luckily, Milo was right there watching the practice.

"Melissa! It's for you!"

It was Zack with a tip about the Nakasumi heist. Drakken had set up shop in an Alpine lair in Norway. Their ride - another old friend of Melissa's, Heinrich.

* * *

"So, any intel on Drakken's Alpine lair?"

"Nothing, MC," Milo told Melissa. "But I do have intel on Chad. Full name: Chadwick Wendell Mankey. So far he's declined invitations to the dance from the following: Maria Rodriguez, Courtney Martell, Julia Roberts...no relation...and Mandy Weaver."

"He spiked Mandy?"

"And Mandy spiked me! As did Maria, Courtney and Julia."

Heinrich dropped off our heroes at the foot of Drakken's Alpine lair.

"Thanks for the lift, Heinrich!"

"Melissa, you silly! It's the least I could do after you saved my village from that avalanche last year!"

"No big!"

"Didn't I help with that avalanche?" Milo asked as he and Melissa mounted their snowboards.

"YOU STARTED THAT AVALANCHE!" Melissa responded as the duo sped off. They found Drakken's lair quickly, but security was tight. "Talk to me, Zack."

* * *

"No question about it. This is definitely Drakken's newest lair. But security is too tight, I can't shut down the sensor beams...however, I could juice the frequency so you can see them!"

"Please and thank you!"

Sensor beams visible!

"Milo, we can't touch the red beams!" Melissa warned.

No need! Once Milo came into play, the sensor beams went offline due to Murphy's law! That allowed Milo and Melissa to break into Drakken's lair almost unseen. Once inside, they were cornered by Drakken's goons.

* * *

"I have NEVER been captured that fast! This is almost as embarrassing as cheer practice, MILO!"

"Embarrassing? Perhaps...but it did get us inside the bad man's lair."

While Melissa and Shego battled, Milo took out the henchmen with Melissa's knockout gas lip gloss. He then threw it back up to Melissa, who took down Shego with the exact same tactic...right as Drakken turned the stolen assembly line into an ultimate robot warrior. But according to the robot's schematics, Nakasumi-san programmed in an override switch...which just so happens to be on the robot's back.

"Good luck, Zack!"

While Milo and Melissa kept the robot occupied, Zack punched in possible passwords.

"Nakasumi?"

No dice.

"Swap?"

Nothing.

"Tokyo?"

No dice. It hit him when he heard 'Konnichiwa'.

"KONNICHIWA!"

You're busted, Drakken!

"Game over, Drakken!" Zack called out as one of the robot's claws removed Drakken from the controls. The police arrived soon after and arrested him. Shego was not done as she took control, but Melissa tripped up the robot with her grappling hook and saved Milo by using her rocket skates. Shego was soon arrested alongside Drakken, another mission completed for Melissa Chase.

* * *

Now one more mission to complete...asking out Chad Mankey.

"Relax, MC. If you can defeat an international freakazoid, you can handle Mankey," Milo encouraged.

He's passing the gym now. 4 meters, 3 meters, 2 meters...he's on top of you, Melissa!

"Hey. Sorry about the banner."

"It's cool. New one's better," Chad remarked.

"Maybe I'll see it Friday night...perhaps I'll see you, too...with me?"

"Are you asking me to the dance?"

"I know...I sound so random right now."

"It's cool, Melissa. Pick you up around 7?"

"Cool! Oh, I better get Milo out from the janitor's closet first...he's taking Amanda Lopez to the Spirit Dance..." the ginger said, pulling her cursed friend out from the janitor's closet.

* * *

The Melissa-link went off during the dance, but Melissa paid it no mind. She had what she wanted...Chad Mankey. As for Milo...taking Amanda to the dance was a neat stroke of good luck for him. But he can't help but think about Melissa...if she's truly happy with Chad Mankey.

* * *

**And that...is 'Crush'! 'Mind Games' is next, then 'Sink Or Swim'! SEE YA THEN! Remember...**

**IT'S MILO'S WORLD AND WE'RE ALL LIVING IN IT!**


	6. A Very Melissa Christmas

**As a way of saying thanks to Wiki Guy (SpongeGuy as he's known on here) for all he's done for me and for the Milo fandom this year, here's a very special story set in my KP AU based on the Kim Possible Christmas special - 'A Very Possible Christmas'! ROLL IT!**

* * *

It was Christmas Eve in Danville. The entire Chase clan was gearing up for the impending arrival of St. Nick himself and they were just about ready to turn on their big light display with fire chief/paramedic/renowned rocket scientist Richard Chase leading.

"Goggles..."

Goggles - ON!

"Alright...let's do it!"

Switch flipped and let there be light!

"Honey, it's beautiful!" his wife, Pepper Chase, marveled.

"It's all Phineas and Ferb!"

"We just rerouted the Danville power grid..."

"...so we wouldn't blow out the whole town, like last year," Phineas and Ferb explained.

"Way to go, Tweebs!" Melissa congratulated her twin brothers as her best friend Milo approached, now blinded by the display.

"Look, it's Milo!" Melissa's grandma, Abigail Chase, pointed out. Milo was guided by Diogee, but was still crashing into everything, much like a NASCAR driver on a smaller team.

"I think we blinded him," Mrs. Chase assessed.

"I better get him before he slams into the door..."

Too late. Milo already slammed into the door. Melissa was quick to open the door for Milo and Diogee, letting them in.

"Murphy's law?"

"Definite Murphy's law. Thanks, Melissa..."

* * *

The blinding was temporary as about 20 minutes later, Milo's eyesight was back to normal.

"So, where are we in the Chase family Christmas Eve schedule?" Milo asked his ginger best friend.

"Just started. Lighting the house - always first."

"Yeah...I think Diogee and I got that," Milo responded, rubbing his eyes. Diogee added a bark as he climbed up onto Milo's lap. Chase jumped out of Milo's pocket and scurried onto Milo's shoulder.

"Eggnog?" Chase squeaked.

"Slow your roll there, Chase. That's after we sing carols, but before the Christmas skit."

"You're forgetting one thing, my dear Melissa..." Milo reminded as he turned on the TV. On it came a commercial for his favorite holiday special - Snowman Hank.

"Every Christmas Eve - this couch, that TV and my favorite cartoon snowman!"

"It's on early?"

"4:45 promo, Melissa."

_'For 20 years, The Six Tasks of Snowman Hank has warmed the hearts of children everywhere...BUT NOT THIS YEAR! TAKE A POWDER, SNOWMAN! This year, Christmas is a turbo-charged collision of cool! Live from the North Pole - it's XTREME X-MAS!'_

Hearing this, Milo's jaw dropped while Phineas and Ferb celebrated. For Milo, there was but one, Earth-shattering reaction.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

(Kimmunicator beeps)

_**Oh yeah, yeah!**_

_**I'm your basic, average girl**_

_**and I'm here to save the world**_

_**You can't stop me 'cause I'm**_

_**KIM POS-SI-BLE**_

_**There is nothing I can't do**_

_**and when danger calls**_

**_just know that I am on my way_**** (know that I am on my way)**

_**Doesn't matter where or when there's trouble**_

_**If you just call my name**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

_**Call me, beep me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**When you wanna page me**_

_**It's okay**_

_**Whenever you need me, baby**_

_**Call Me, Beep Me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**Call Me! Beep Me!**_

**_If you wanna reach me!_**** (MELISSA!)**

_**Doesn't matter where**_

_**Doesn't matter when**_

_**I will be there for you 'til the very end**_

_**In danger or trouble**_

_**I'm there on the double**_

_**You know that you always can call...**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

**Melissa: So what's the sitch?**

_**Call Me, Beep Me if you wanna reach me!**_

* * *

**KIM POSSIBLE**

* * *

Milo and Melissa had soon found themselves in Melissa's room. Melissa was trying to cheer Milo up after he heard that Snowman Hank had been cancelled, but nothing worked.

"I can't believe they cancelled Snowman Hank! This totally bites!"

Melissa went to her dresser and grabbed a square shaped present wrapped in red and brown wrapping paper. "Maybe this will cheer you up."

"Is it a cartoon snowman that teaches the importance of friends, family and turning bad guys good?"

"No. But hey...Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah, Milo!"

Milo turned to his right pants pocket. "Chase, you're on!"

Chase once again popped out, scurried to the present and used his big teeth to tear into the paper.

"He loves unwrapping presents, Melissa."

The paper now removed, we see it's a CD case with Milo and Melissa's pictures on it. Melissa opened it to reveal the CD and put it in her computer.

"It's a cyber scrapbook. Made it myself. What do you think?"

"It...it's badical, Melissa!" Milo said, tears forming in his eyes as he hugged Melissa.

"Melissa! We're singing carols!" Mr. Chase called out.

"Coming, dad!"

"Go...sing...I'm just gonna take a minute..." Milo sobbed, looking at the cyber scrapbook Melissa made for him as the Melissa-link beeped. "Hey...Santa?"

Nope. It was Zack dressed as Santa.

"Ho ho ho! Hey, Milo! Sorry to hear about Snowman Hank," Zack greeted.

"You knew?"

"Milo, I could hear your scream from my place."

"It stinks, Zack. What's worse is that she made me this beautiful cyber scrapbook and I couldn't think of anything to get her! I mean, what can you get for the girl who can do anything?"

"I hear ya, Milo. Anyway, I just wanted to wish Melissa a Merry Christmas. Thought I could catch her before carol time..."

RUH-ROH! RED ALERT!

"TIME OUT, MILO! Looks like Shego's stolen some kind of experimental power cell. Alert's coming out of a lab in Canada."

"On Christmas Eve?"

"Total naughty list right there!"

"That just plain bites! Christmas with the fam means everything to Melissa!"

"Perhaps Drakken knows that too...maybe he wants to ruin it for her by forcing her to go out on a mission. You better warn Melissa now!"

Milo thought about it for a minute, but then decided against it.

"No. You just gave me the perfect gift idea for Melissa! Christmas with her family!"

"Then who's gonna stop Drakken and Shego?"

Milo smiled. "Me! It's high time they got a Christmas helping of Murphy's law! Zack, feel like sidekicking?"

"I'm all in, Milo! Meet me at Danville Space Center. I've been working with Melissa's dad on an experimental jet that'll get us to where Drakken's hideout is in a flash!"

"SPANKIN'!"

Milo and Zack made it to Danville Space Center within the hour. They took an experimental jet known as the Galileo - capable of circumnavigating the world in a month on one solar charge. Zack had traced Drakken to the Swiss Alps, so that's where they began their search.

* * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Swiss Alps...

"Here you go, chief - one experimental battery thing...Feliz Navidad..." Shego told Drakken in a stoic tone.

"Excellent, Shego. Drak-Force One is now complete. And this time...Melissa Chase will not get in my way!"

"Okay, and why is that?"

"Because it's Christmas! The one time of the year she's completely off duty! Busy with her twinkle lights and mistletoe and carols and frim-franglers and zoob-zooblers..."

"Whoa, Dr. D..."

"What?"

"You've stopped using words!"

"Oh, right..."

"Where's the sunblock, Dr. D?"

"Mud room. Hey, why do you need sun block?"

"Vacation in Hawaii, remember?"

"But don't you want to stay to witness the culmination of what we've worked for all year?"

Survey says...NOPE!

"Fine. I'll do it myself! Soon...I, Dr. Drakken, will rule the yule! The world will have a blue Christmas! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Nothing.

"It's just not as much fun ranting to myself, now is it?"

* * *

Back at the Chase house, setup was nearly complete - that included Melissa's favorite Santa sculpture. It was the one her grandpa gave to her grandma on their first Christmas. She looked and Milo was nowhere in sight.

"Did Milo go home?"

No response from Phineas and Ferb.

"He did seem pretty bummed about Snowman Hank. I better contact Zack."

Melissa tapped the center button of her locket Melissa-link...but no response.

"Strange...Zack always answers the Melissa-link. Something's fishy...bad fishy."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the Swiss Alps...

"Uh, would a strange dark castle qualify as suspicious?" Milo asked Zack.

"Good catch, Milo! That's definitely Drakken's lair!" Zack confirmed. "You did pick up some of Melissa's gadgets, did you?"

"Got 'em in my backpack!" the jinx confirmed as he fired his grappling hook at the castle...only to lose his pants. "Aw, man! Even on Christmas Eve!"

"Murphy's law never takes a holiday, I guess. By the way...we could just use the door."

"Didn't see that one coming..."

"That's because you don't look before you leap. Now get your pants back on and follow me! We've got an evil scientist to stop!"

After putting his pants back on and retrieving his grappling hook, Milo followed Zack into Drakken's lair.

* * *

Back at Melissa's house, it was finally eggnog time!

"Egg me, boys!" Mr. Chase called out.

"Eggs coming right up, dad!" Phineas confirmed as he and Ferb relayed eggs to each other, then tossed them at their dad.

"Eggnog has been attained!"

"Where's Milo and his little rodent friend? They love the eggnog!" Nana Chase asked, noting Milo's absence.

"I'm not sure. He was pretty bummed about Snowman Hank...never even said goodbye..."

* * *

Back at Drakken's lair, Drakken was about to launch Drak-Force One...but the launch sequence failed. Reason being - Milo, Zack, Diogee and Chase had swiped the power source!

"Diogee, go home!" Milo said to his dog, sending him home.

"He's not supposed to be in the Swiss Alps!" Zack added in.

Drakken soon noted the absence of the power cell, causing Milo to go into fight mode. "You want a piece of Milo?"

A fight soon ensued with the launch sequence and landing sequence being alternated, but then Murphy's law kicked in, causing Milo to hit the self-destruct button!

"Okay, why must all villains have a self-destruct button on everything?" Zack questioned.

"For the good guys to hit it and thwart their plans, Zack. Why else?" Milo retorted.

What now? Drak-Force One was about to explode and all the escape pods were gone...except for one, of course. That one...was the garbage can.

"Uh, would Carroll Spinney, the voice of Oscar the Grouch, be anywhere in that can?" Zack asked.

"No time talk, just get in, Zack! This place is about to go up in flames!" Milo barked as he, Zack, Chase and Drakken jumped in...just as Drak-Force One blew up. And guess where they landed? THE NORTH POLE!

"LAND HO!" Milo called out.

"Yeah, no kidding, genius..." Zack snapped back.

* * *

Back at Melissa's place, it was time for the Christmas skit. This year, it was about Melissa's ancestor who lived in the American Revolution - Jonathan Chase. The doorbell soon rang and the mailman presented Melissa with a box. Inside...was a Melissa-link.

"Zack?"

"Your other Melissa-link got destroyed in a battle - Milo took it when he went to stop Drakken from launching his Drak-Force One."

"Rewind and freeze, Zack. Milo went on a mission...BY HIMSELF?"

"Well, I went with him. It was kind of a Secret Santa thing. But before the explosion, I detected the launch of some escape pods. So far, I only have a fix on one - it's in London, just outside of Buckingham Palace. I'm en route now in the Galileo. I'll meet you there."

"I gotta jet, guys."

"Of course you do, dear..."

"Don't worry. We'll hold the story until you get back."

"No. Don't ruin your Christmas. I'll fetch Milo and we'll be back in time for presents!"

* * *

Melissa's ride - none other than Japanese toy magnate Hiroto Nakasumi and his assistant Yoshiko Kiyoko!

"Thanks for the lift, Mr. Nakasumi!"

"Nakasumi-san says it's the least he could do after you saved his video game factory in time for Christmas rush."

"No big! I just hope I can save this Christmas!"

Melissa dived into London, landing just outside of Buckingham Palace, where she was greeted by the Chief of Scotland Yard.

"As I live and breathe! Melissa Sabrina Chase! Merry Christmas, love!"

"Same to you, chief! Can you tell me what happened to the occupant of that escape pod?"

"There was no one in it, Ms. Chase," the chief said remorsefully.

Melissa went right to Zack to inform him of the miss. "Zack, swing and a miss in London. Where to now?"

"Mediterranean Sea."

* * *

Nope...foul ball there. Colorado Rocky Mountains - no luck. Egypt...nothing. Last one was in the Amazon...but back at her place, she was missing Christmas dinner. Her family knew what they had to do - they had to contact Zack for Melissa's coordinates.

* * *

Meanwhile, we catch up with Lydia in Hawaii. She had just gotten another umbrella drink, but just as she was about to tip her waiter, she was told it was all paid for and was given a note.

"Shego, consider this my way of saying thanks for a super year. Yours in evil, Dr. Drakken..." she read. "Aw, that's so nice of him! Perhaps I should've taken his call. Maybe he left a message..."

He did! He was at the North Pole and in trouble!

* * *

Back in the Amazon, Melissa had made her way through treacherous terrain only to find herself in the clutches of an anaconda.

"Seriously? On Christmas Eve?"

"INCOMING!" Phineas and Ferb called out as they swung in and grabbed the anaconda.

"We'll take things from here!" Mrs. Chase called out. "You go grab Milo!"

The anaconda was taken down and Melissa rushed to her family. "I can't believe it! You guys are here too?"

"Why should you have all the fun, Melissa?" Mr. Chase asked as Zack jumped off the Galileo.

"They called me and asked for your coordinates. Melissa, I'm picking up a distress signal from that pod. Milo has to be in there!"

With a nod, Melissa took out her grappling hook hair dryer and fired it at the tree. However...she struck out as all she found was a monkey.

* * *

Melissa went over to her family and hugged them. "He...he wasn't there...I don't know what to do..."

Just when Melissa was on the verge of a breakdown, Phineas and Ferb picked up a clue by watching 'Xtreme Xmas' on the Melissa-link. They spotted Shego at the North Pole.

* * *

Speaking of the North Pole, we check back there where Milo and Drakken had just escaped a polar bear!

"Hey, we're away from the thing which was about to eat us! In the words of a very wise snowman - Put away those petty problems..."

"...and embrace your fellow man..."

"...AND JOIN THE CELEBRATION ALL ACROSS THIS WONDERFUL LAND!"

"You're a fan of Snowman Hank?"

"I'm recording it, Murphy!"

Milo had to break the bad news to Drakken.

"Didn't you hear? They cancelled Snowman Hank!"

This news did not sit well with Drakken.

"What? They...they cancelled Snowman Hank?"

"It's true..." Milo said with remorse.

"No...no...NO! NEVER! I'll tell you this, Murphy - in the little TV in my heart, Snowman Hank will play forever!"

Milo slinged his right arm around Drakken. "If we survive, the memory of Snowman Hank will survive! FOR SNOWMAN HANK!"

"Snowman Hank..."

"Oh brother..." Chase squeaked.

* * *

Shego had just made it to the North Pole and had picked up Drakken's signal. After escaping a polar bear, she commandeered a snowboard from 'Xtreme Xmas' to catch up to Drakken. Little did she know, Melissa, Zack and the Chase clan were hot on the trail! Shego was quickly intercepted by Melissa and they took up the chase.

"Aren't you supposed to be home bobbing for...cider...or something?" Shego remarked.

"NOT WITHOUT MILO!" Melissa retorted.

Shego scoffed. "LOSER!"

After skirting the polar bear, Melissa rammed right into a sculpture of Snowman Hank. There was only one guy she knew that liked Snowman Hank...

* * *

"Nice job, Chase! MELISSA!" Milo called out, racing to his ginger best friend and hugging her.

"Come on! Nana and Zack have hypersonic jets waiting!"

"Your nana's here, too?"

"Nana, Mom, Dad, the Tweebs..."

"Are you kidding? You were supposed to do all the family stuff you do every year, MC!"

"When I heard you went out on your own to stop Drakken..."

"...you came to rescue me...and ruined your Christmas!"

Melissa giggled. "Are you kidding, Milo? Now the tweebs wanna wrestle an anaconda every year! This is so much better than what you got me last year! This Christmas rocked...I mean it!"

Milo laughed sheepishly, holding Melissa close...but Shego stepped in, ready for a fight. As Melissa and Shego battled, Drakken stepped in to quell the fighting. He had just set things up for Christmas dinner at a makeshift lair, effectively cancelling 'Xtreme Xmas'.

* * *

"After you..." Drakken said politely.

"Are you serious, Dr. D?" Shego asked.

"Of course! Because..."

"To the people far and near, Snowman Hank brought holiday cheer!" Milo and Drakken said in unison.

Melissa was a little weirded out by all this. "I-I don't know what in the name of Danville is going on here..."

Drakken then pushed Melissa and Milo close...right under the mistletoe!

"Look who's under the mistletoe!"

"Actually, it's small parsley I found in the dumpster, but..."

Just before Milo finished his explanation, Melissa pecked him on the cheek, surprising him.

"Aw!" Chase squeaked.

* * *

The rest of Melissa's family soon entered.

"'Lissie! Are you alright?" Mrs. Chase asked.

"Ah, the Chase family! Come on in, please!"

"Hey, isn't that Melissa's archenemy?" Nana Chase asked, referring to Drakken.

Mr. Chase chuckled. "'Tis the season, I guess."

Of course, after the New Year starts...all bets are off!

"This has been the weirdest Christmas ever!" Phineas started.

"HOO-SHA!" Ferb added in.

* * *

"Hey, gang!" Drakken started. "It's not the turkey and the stuffing or the presents around the tree..."

"It's a warm and fuzzy feeling that begins with you and me..." Milo added.

"So put away those petty problems...

"...and embrace your fellow man!"

"AND JOIN THE CELEBRATION ALL ACROSS THIS WONDERFUL LAND!"

* * *

**SEASON'S GREETINGS FROM THE CHASE FAMILY**

* * *

**MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!**


	7. Emotion Sickness

**With Valentine's Day coming up soon, it's high time to do the Milo version of one of the most famous KP episodes ever...EMOTION SICKNESS! LET'S ROLL!**

* * *

It was early spring in Danville. Outside, the Danville High marquee read 'Danville Days - This Weekend'. Inside Danville High, however, preparations were well underway for the event.

"Okay people, listen up! In a frenzied outpouring of community pride, this weekend we celebrate Danville Days - a salute to giants of local industry from the Space Center to the world famous Danville Pickle Works!" Mr. Drako explained as Milo soon caught his eye. The class jinx was wearing a pickle suit, which seemed to offend the former Marine.

"MURPHY! EXPLANATION, NOW!"

"I'm Kosher Dilly, the Pickle Works' beloved mascot and this...is Gherkin!" Milo explained, motioning towards his naked mole rat friend Chase, who was wearing a smaller version of the pickle suit. Needless to say Mr. Drako was not impressed.

"Mocking our proud pickle heritage, are we?"

"Mock the pickle? Never, Mr. Drako!"

"I'm keeping an eye on you, cucumber boy. FLOAT BUILDERS, LET'S GET BUSY!" Drako called out as Melissa soon walked in.

* * *

"Isn't that hot?" the ginger head cheerleader asked.

"Suffering is my salute to Danville," Milo responded as he caught something that troubled him. It was his former flame Amanda Lopez and she was with Melissa's former flame...Chad Mankey.

"What's the big, Milo?"

"Nothing...uh, Melissa! There's something in my eye!"

"It's your finger..."

"Oh, how'd that get there?"

And as if Murphy's law couldn't be any more of a pain in the neck, Candace Flynn, Melissa's cheer rival, showed up.

* * *

"Chad Mankey has a fresh crush and her name ISN'T Melissa Chase!" Candace mocked.

"AAAHHH! CANDACE!" Milo freaked out.

"Milo, can it with the freak out! Really, it's no big! Chad Mankey...SO LAST SEMESTER!"

"WHAT?!"

"We grew apart, it was time to move on. So not the drama!"

"More like SO IN DENIAL!" Candace retorted.

* * *

"Way to maintain. Brave how you mask your Mankey pains..." Milo said to his best friend.

"Seriously, I'm over Chad! Thought you'd be the bummed one!"

"Me? Why?"

"Amanda...didn't you and her used to be a thing?"

"Aw, now you tell me!"

* * *

Yet another classic Milo freak out...just as Zack chimes in from his computer class!

"What's the sitch, Zack?"

"Just heard that Amanda and Chad are dating. How's Milo taking it?" Zack asked.

"Not you too, Zack!"

Does that answer your question, Zack?

"Don't get in a PICKLE, Milo!"

"Oh...who's the pickle-mocker now?"

"Couldn't resist, Milo. Sorry, man."

Melissa was not amused. "Please tell me there's more to this call..."

"DRAKKEN'S ON THE MOVE!"

"Then so are we..." the snarky ginger cheerleader said, rushing out. Milo had trouble with his costume, but Melissa had none of it and simply pulled a Misty tactic, pulling Milo by his pants and out the door.

* * *

(Kimmunicator beeps)

_**Oh yeah, yeah!**_

_**I'm your basic, average girl**_

_**and I'm here to save the world**_

_**You can't stop me 'cause I'm**_

_**KIM POS-SI-BLE**_

_**There is nothing I can't do**_

_**and when danger calls**_

_**just know that I am on my way **_**(know that I am on my way)**

_**Doesn't matter where or when there's trouble**_

_**If you just call my name**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

_**Call me, beep me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**When you wanna page me**_

_**It's okay**_

_**Whenever you need me, baby**_

_**Call Me, Beep Me**_

_**if you wanna reach me**_

_**Call Me! Beep Me!**_

_**If you wanna reach me! **_**(MELISSA!)**

_**Doesn't matter where**_

_**Doesn't matter when**_

_**I will be there for you 'til the very end**_

_**In danger or trouble**_

_**I'm there on the double**_

_**You know that you always can call...**_

_**KIM POSSIBLE!**_

**Melissa: So what's the sitch?**

_**Call Me, Beep Me if you wanna reach me!**_

* * *

**KIM POSSIBLE**

* * *

We pick things up at the lab of Dr. Cyrus Bortel. He was running tests on his latest device - a chip that could amplify emotions. He tested it on the Joy, Sadness and Anger settings before finally declaring the tests successful. He was about to sell the chips, now called Moodulators, at online auction, but first...a marathon of 'The Fearless Ferret'!

Little did he know that a pair of international criminals were bent on swiping one of his creations. A green beam of light soon cut through the roof of Dr. Bortel's lab, revealing that one of the criminals was Lydia Brooks - also known as Shego. Flying down on his hovercraft was Dr. Bradley Nicholson...Drakken.

"Here's something I don't get. If you're such an evil genius, shouldn't you invent your own things? What's with the stealing?"

"It's called outsourcing, Shego. Companies do it all the time. Besides, why re-invent the wheel, or in this case..." Drakken started as he found what he was looking for. "...the Electron Magneto-Accelerator! With this, I can increase the power of any electrical device to evil proportions!"

Not if a feisty ginger cheerleader and her jinx of a best friend have anything to say about that!

"Stealing again, Drakken?" Melissa retorted.

"Whatever happened to inventing your own stuff?" Milo added.

"It's called outsour...oh, just get on with it!"

"How about YOU get on with it!"

"Shego...now's not the time for this!"

"Okay, fine. But I ain't doing this for you. I'm doing this...FOR ME!"

And with that, the battle was on with Melissa and Shego matching each other move for move. Drakken decided to take this opportunity to try and make his escape, but Milo had grabbed onto Drakken's hovercraft, blocking his escape...until Murphy's law caused the hovercraft to malfunction. Drakken had then grabbed onto the roof with Milo holding onto his legs. Meanwhile, the fight had not only caused the Melissa-link and a green control device to get mixed up, but also Shego and Melissa to get tagged with a pair of green microchips.

"Do you mind, I'm trying to get away!"

"MELISSA! He's trying to get away! AND HE'S KICKING ME!"

"And you're surprised?"

Murphy's law had then caused a shelf to fall on Melissa. Melissa escaped, but not in time to catch Drakken and Shego.

"MC!"

"I believe the phrase is 'BOO-YAH!' SOME OTHER DAY, MELISSA CHASE!" Drakken mocked as he and Shego escaped.

"You okay, 'Liss?" Milo asked, taking Melissa's hand.

"Me? Yeah. Pride...not so much."

Milo then grabbed what he thought was the Melissa-link and gave it to Melissa. One problem...he grabbed the control unit instead!

* * *

Dr. Bortel returned some time later, noticing his EMA and his Moodulators were missing! NOT GOOD!

* * *

The next morning, Milo was awaiting the breakfast Nacos he made for him and Melissa...

"MC! Those breakfast Nacos aren't gonna eat themselves!"

Melissa then tossed the Moodulator control unit at Milo. "What's this?" Milo asked.

"That thing you picked up yesterday...SO NOT THE MELISSA-LINK!"

Milo thought it was a video game and proceeded to toy with it. However...his hunch was wrong. Melissa's eyes glowed blue and she started crying uncontrollably. Same thing happened with Shego...she was crying over breaking a nail, for Swampy's sake!

Milo thought that Melissa having a turn with what he thought was a video game would help cheer Melissa up...but he had pushed the button again, sending her (and Shego) into frenzies of rage.

"I don't wanna play some stupid game! I want the Melissa-link! Let's just go to school so I can tell Zack that you lost the Melissa-link AGAIN!" Melissa bellowed, pulling Milo by his signature sweater vest.

* * *

Meanwhile, at Drakken and Shego's lair...

"You talkin' to me?"

"Look, you were obviously upset about your broken nail..."

"Meaning..."

"You were...overreacting."

"Overreacting? Overreacting? ME?" Shego barked, igniting her hands. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

* * *

Back at the Chase house, Phineas and Ferb had spotted the control unit...oh boy...

"COOL!" Ferb remarked.

"What do you think it is?" Phineas asked.

"Sub-orbital data compiler?"

"Nope. Dad's got one...doesn't even look like this. Maybe it's a trans-dimensional laser!"

"Without a converted input relay? DON'T THINK SO!"

The Tweebs wrestled for the device, sending their sister (and Shego) into a whole range of emotions.

* * *

Back with Drakken and Shego...

Drakken was cowering near the ceiling of his lair, fearful for what Shego would do to him.

"There you are!" Shego called out. Her eyes soon flashed yellow. "I am so happy you're not hurt!" Her eyes then flashed blue. "If anything happened to you...I don't know what I'd do!" Her eyes then flashed green. "But you'd like to know, wouldn't you? WOULDN'T YOU?" Finally her eyes flashed purple. "Say what? What was I talking about?"

"Uh, did I forget your birthday? Is that what this is about? Because...I'm scared."

* * *

We go to Danville High now...

"Dang it, MC! You seriously jacked my sweater vest!" Milo chided.

"Oh, I'm gonna do more than that to Drakken!"

"Right...so what do you think he's after?" Milo asked as Melissa's eyes flashed yellow.

"I have no idea...but I know we can stop him!" Melissa's eyes then flashed blue and she started crying again. "Unless he gets away again..."

"MC, are you feeling alright? You seem kinda...random," Milo remarked as Melissa's eyes flashed purple.

"Random? Are we talking about me?" Melissa asked as Amanda and Chad walked by.

"Of course! See, this is what happens when you keep the 'Mankey pain' bottled up!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that ever since you lost the Melissa-link..."

Milo didn't get a chance to finish, though, as Melissa's eyes flashed red again.

"I LOST THE MELISSA-LINK? I DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING, MILO!" Melissa seethed as she pulled Milo along the halls, slamming him into her locker, right as Zack came in.

"Hey, I've been trying the Melissa-link...but there's no response," Zack informed.

"Milo, YOU'VE GOT SOME 'SPLAININ' TO DO!" Melissa said in a faux Latina accent.

* * *

Back at Melissa's house...

"Alright, boys. Enough fooling around! Time for school!" Mrs. Chase said to the Tweebs, to which she was met with a resounding...

"Aw, man!"

The setting the Moodulator control device was left on...LOVE!

* * *

Back at Danville High, Milo was explaining what went wrong to Zack...right as Melissa's eyes flashed pink.

"I guess I just picked up the wrong thing...it's all my fault..." Milo said to Zack as Melissa rushed up to the jinx.

"Wait! That's not true! Milo did his best. It could've happened to anyone, right?"

"Sure. Stuff happens when you're saving the world," Zack told the duo.

"See, Milo? Everything's gonna be A-OK..." Melissa said softly, fingerwalking up his shirt.

"Melissa, you're doing it again."

"If I can get a tracking link, I should be able to activate the Melissa-link's homing device and..." Zack couldn't finish as Melissa shoved him into the lockers.

"We better get going..." Melissa said softly as she and Milo walked to class. "I'll see you after class..." she said, blowing a kiss at Milo and giggling before taking her seat next to Candace.

"Some things are just too weird to even think about!" Candace remarked.

* * *

Back at Drakken and Shego's lair, Drakken was making final adjustments to the EMA...when Shego appeared before him.

"SHEGO! You're not still upset, are you?"

"Oh no, no...I'm just admiring your work is all..."

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Shego batted her eyelashes at Drakken. "I never realized how charming and deliciously evil you are!"

"Uh, Shego...don't you have something better to do?"

"Why...yes I do!" Shego said to Drakken, igniting her plasma hands and drawing 'B.N. + L.B.' in a heart on the walls of the lair.

"Uh, I think it's time we tested the EMA. Perhaps I can cool things down by super-charging this ordinary air conditioner!"

SUCCESS!

"HA! It's brilliant! Worked better than expected!"

Shego tried to take advantage of the faux snowstorm to snuggle with Drakken, but he'd have none of it. So...Plan B - take him out on a break from his work.

* * *

Back at Danville High...

It was Study Hall period. Milo slept through, as always. But this time, he received a note with his name written beautifully and surrounded by hearts. The sender...none other than his best friend.

Cue montage! Drakken and Shego ended up stealing a lollipop from a baby and did that photo booth gambit with Shego all over Drakken while no matter where Milo looked, Melissa was right behind him to flirt...and nearly kissed him! Only safe place left...was the gym. Milo knew that was where his sister Sara was.

* * *

"Sara!" Milo whispered.

"Milo, is that you?"

"Is the coast clear, sis?"

"Clear for what?"

"Melissa...she's crushing on me!"

"Melissa's crushing? On you?"

"Yes...AND IT'S FREAKING ME OUT!"

"You sure you're not majorly misinterpreting this one, little brother?" Sara asked.

"Just go with me on this one, Sara. MELISSA HAS IT BAD FOR MILO!" Milo responded, referring to himself in the 3rd person.

"And that's a bad thing? Even I saw this coming!"

"Okay...first Amanda, then Zack, now you! Anyone else see this coming?"

"Practically the whole school, Milo. I saw it when you two were little kids. But that's beside the point."

"Sara, it's not like I haven't thought of this. Who hasn't? It's just that I'm..."

"In a pickle?" Sara asked, giggling.

"Oh, how I rue the day I ever volunteered for this..." Milo said under his breath.

"Want my advice, little brother?"

"Uh, please!"

"Lose the pickle suit."

"No. Not yet, Sara! And if you see Melissa, you didn't see me! GOT IT?"

"But what if Melissa sees me seeing you?" Sara asked, pointing to Melissa right behind Milo.

"AAAAHH! MELISSA!" Milo freaked.

"Milo, I have a little favor to ask..." Melissa said sweetly, finger walking up Milo's sweater vest again.

"Sorry, MC, I was just...LEAVING!"

"He's shy...but so cute..."

"Melissa does realize that's my brother she's talking about there," Sara remarked as Melissa chased after Milo. She even resorted to using her hair dryer grappling hook!

Yeah, Milo...nowhere to run or hide when you're up against a crime-stopping cheerleader. Melissa finally caught up to Milo by shoving her locker door in his face.

* * *

"Now...a-about that favor..."

"Melissa..."

"You see...tonight's opening night of Danville Days...and I don't have a date..."

This shocked Milo. "Date? You want to go to Danville Days AS MY DATE?!"

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask!" Melissa gushed as she surprised Milo by kissing her. After initial hesitation, Milo finally got into the kiss, deepening it before fainting...right as Zack came in.

"Hey guys, I...OH MY GOD!" Zack called out, seeing his best friends smacking lips. "Uh, was I interrupting anything?"

Melissa giggled. "Guess what the sitch is, Zackary!"

"Uh...I just wanted to let you know I got a link through the Melissa-link and...were you two in lip-lock?"

"Great, Zack..." Melissa said, still dreamy-eyed about kissing Milo.

"Whatever you say..." Milo said, now lovestruck after kissing his best friend.

"I'm gonna get ready for tonight..." Melissa said in a seductive tone, purring at Milo. Milo then proceeded to Melissa's locker, to which Zack responded...

"THIS IS SO NOT NORMAL!"

* * *

After school, Milo considered his feelings for Melissa...

"Okay...so Melissa and I have been best friends forever. Perhaps dating could be the next step. I mean, what's not to like about Melissa? She's smart, cute...dating could be good, the date thing...what if it tanks? THIS COULD TOTALLY WRECK OUR FRIENDSHIP! No...not gonna let that happen! Only one thing to do...break up with Melissa."

Now one other problem...how to get out of Drako's house.

* * *

Back at Bortel's lab - his online auction ends tonight, but he has no Moodulators to send. He could say they got lost in the mail, but his feedback rating would take a major hit. Just then...the Melissa-link went off!

"What's that? Some sort of flying spy bug! No one snoops on Cyrus Bortel! I will get to the bottom of this!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Drakken's evil plan had taken shape - the Space Center float at Danville Days features a harmless spectral laser, but with the EMA...Drakken can turn it into a RAY OF DOOM! (with Shego as his date)

* * *

Milo had just made his way to the Chase house, rehearsing his spiel for when he'd 'break up' with Melissa.

"Easy, huh?"

Chase squeaked no.

"Well...tough love makes for tough friends," Milo said as he rang the doorbell.

"Aw, there he is!" Mrs. Chase gushed.

"The new beau!" Mr. Chase added.

"Oh hi, Mr. and Mrs..." Milo was pulled in by Melissa's parents.

"Oh, we're just tickled pink about you and 'Lissie!"

"We are?"

"But not too pink. Time for a fam to Milo talk."

"It is?"

"We want Melissa to be happy..."

"We do!"

"If not, it's a one way ticket to a burning building for you..."

Milo gulped in fear. He knew Mr. Chase was serious. "Uh...I think I'll just play a little game until Melissa's ready to..."

Uh, Milo...she's ready. And she's in every girl's secret weapon - the Little Black Dress. To top it off, she had on a pair of red bracelets, red earrings and red high heel shoes. Milo's jaw dropped at seeing Melissa like this.

* * *

"Hello, baby!" Melissa said seductively. "I felt like dressing up. You don't mind, do you?"

Mr. Chase picked Milo's jaw up off the floor and closed his mouth. "Uh, no...not at all," Milo said nervously as Melissa grabbed him and pulled him out the door.

"You kids have fun! And Milo, have 'Lissie home by 11!"

* * *

It was time for Danville Days! Everyone was having fun at the Danville Fairgrounds, Melissa even won a plush Kosher Dilly for Milo!

"And the prize goes to our winning rocket rangers!"

"I believe this is where you say 'Boo-Yah'!"

But there was none of that to be had. Milo and Melissa soon found themselves at one of the benches. It was time to put Milo's plan into action...but it did not end well as Milo kept sitting on the Moodulator control device, sending Melissa from love to joy to jealousy...to sadness, causing Melissa to run off.

"WAIT! MELISSA, COME BACK! YOUR DAD'S GONNA PUT ME IN A BURNING BUILDING!" Milo called out as the Melissa-link ran right into him. "THE MELISSA-LINK!"

Dr. Bortel called Milo out as a spy, but Milo quickly countered by handing him the Moodulator control device. While Milo dealt with his Melissa issue, Drakken was trying to handle Shego, but to no avail. That's when Melissa ran by.

"Melissa Chase? Why is she crying?"

* * *

Dr. Bortel explained that the Moodulator controlled and amplified a person's emotions with the press of a button. Overhearing this, Drakken swiped the control device and super-charged it with the EMA, overloading it and frying the circuits.

"Please tell me Melissa's back to normal!"

"I'm afraid your friend is locked into an irreversible frenzy of rage..."

"Dude, what'd I just say?"

That's when Melissa stepped out of the crowd, angry at Milo.

"So I hope she's not mad at anyone..."

"NOBODY. DUMPS. MELISSA CHASE!" Melissa called out.

"BREAKING UP IS SO NOT EASY!" Milo freaked out as he ran off, Melissa going after him.

"A scorned woman! The perfect weapon!" Drakken celebrated.

"If she's wearing Moodulator #1...where's the second one?"

Survey says...on Shego!

"DRAKKEN!" Shego called out.

Run for it, Drakken!

* * *

Milo tried to calm down Melissa...but to no avail as she launched a cotton candy machine at him!

"Men..."

"Oh yeah!"

Milo quickly found refuge in the Pickle Works' float. He soon found out that Drakken was there too!

"Find your own hiding place!"

"Yeah, like you called dibs!"

"Well I am now! DIBS!"

"Well I'm calling DOUBLE DIBS!"

Drakken growled. "You win this round with your superior dib-calling. But that won't save us from them!" Drakken pointed out as Melissa barged in. Again, Milo tried to calm Melissa down, but this time...he backed right into Shego and thanks to Murphy's law...his pants fell off! That did it! Melissa was free of the Moodulator! Milo, now pantless, ran up to Drako and pulled the pickle suit off him to cover up.

* * *

"Murphy..."

"See, Mr. Drako...no pants..."

Shego was about to attack Milo again, but was quickly intercepted by Melissa.

"Still upset, Melissa?"

Melissa's answer...showing the broken Moodulator to Milo. "SO NOT THE DRAMA!"

* * *

"So, Melissa Chase...you were lucky this time!" Drakken taunted.

"You might wanna be careful!"

"HA! You threaten me?"

Nope. Shego is still under Moodulator influence. That's right, Drakken...run for it!

"So I guess the crush and everything was all Moodulator, huh?" Milo asked.

"Not everything...there's still fireworks," Melissa hinted.

"Ya think?"

Melissa said nothing, instead pointing to the skies, where a fireworks display had just gone off. Meanwhile, Drakken was still on the run from Shego.

* * *

**And...that was 'Emotion Sickness'! I got more upcoming including...SO THE DRAMA! STAY TUNED!**


End file.
